SimonXIX’s avatarSimonXIX’s Twitter Archive—№ 65,725

                                                                                                                  1. One week ago, we adopted Tony, a 2–3 month old kitten. He was very anxious but is getting braver every day.
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                                                                                                                  Leon is not a huge fan but they'll be best friends soon.
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                                                                                                                Tony broke a bit off my Minas Tirith sculpture but I have found it in my heart to forgive him.
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                                                                                                              Kids these days with their PlayStations and Xbox Series Xs don't know about the real PlayStation, a tiny kitten.
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                                                                                                            And he's broken this duck-on-a-string toy already. A destructive baby.
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                                                                                                          Best friends in the making.
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                                                                                                        If I were a smol cat who had been brought to live with an adult cat who doesn't seem to like me very much, I wouldn't continually try to eat the adult cat's food but I guess that's just me.
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                                                                                                      Leon is supposed to be teaching Tony how to cat but so far all he's taught him is how to open this closet that I don't like being constantly open. @SimonXIX/1480906094998392836
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                                                                                                    oh no, my pyjamas.
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                                                                                                  Tony broke this duck toy on the first day I got it and pulls it off almost every time we play with it so everyday we hang the duck anew like Prometheus being endlessly killed and consumed forever.
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                                                                                                Crazy to think that when this tiny boy rudely gets his nose all up in our dinners, it's literally the first time in his life he's smelling soy sauce or pizza.
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                                                                                              oh no my slippers
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                                                                                            Tony has graduated to a new hooded litter tray because he's a very messy poop burier and was getting litter all over the office.
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                                                                                          Nap time for babies.
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                                                                                      The little man has gained half a kilogram since we got him. He's growing so fast!
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                                                                                    Can't stop watching this. I love how Tony boops Leon on the head and then looks around like, what was that? @SimonXIX/1501151953157603331
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                                                                                  This little bastard has bitten through /another/ of my earphone wires. Buying earphones every month is proving to be the tax for having a wee kitten.
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                                                                              Tony wants to be like his hero, Leon, and hang out on the kitchen counters but he's too little to get up there on his own.
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                                                                            Roar!
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                                                                          This morning Tony is trying to eat my Cadbury Mini Eggs. But Mini Eggs are not for kittens.
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                                                                        You don't adopt three cats without learning a thing or two about cats and let me tell you folks, Cadbury Mini Eggs are not for kittens.
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                                                                      Little slap fight.
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                                                                    Tony has placed his toy under this Feliway that is meant to mimic the pheromones of a mama cat. Is this a gift for his mother, the Feliway plugin?
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                                                                  Leon is proving to be a terrible mentor for Tony. @helensulis/1506560679217618949
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                                                                Tony can have little a yogurt, as a treat?
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                                                              Ahhh, caught them cuddling. Told them they loved one another.
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                                                            lick lick lick
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                                                          Tony got in the bath immediately after I had a shower and now he's dashing around leaving little wet streaks on the laminate because he's too wet to keep his footing at high speeds.
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                                                        Tony is dealing with the cold snap in Scotland and the rise in energy prices in his own way.
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                                                    Can't find Tony this morning. Oh well.
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                                                  Tony's favourite toy is this duck but he has absolutely destroyed it and frequently loses it under the sofa. It's a real treat whenever we can be bothered to fish it out for him.
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                                                Best friends love to sit together on a Sunday.
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                                              Cinematic parallels.
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                                            Helping.
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                                          I went for a run and it seems to have tuckered out Tony by proxy. He's fallen asleep in the position of a little sleepy man.
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                                        Why did we get a kitten? Well, it's because I hate all our plants and I love to spend my time sweeping up glass from broken vases.
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                                      H. has laughed at me for keeping such scrupulous records of Tony's weight but it's allowed me to produce such astonishing graphs as this.
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                                    Data!
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                                  he sleep
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                                he wake!
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                              Moved the Monstera into the bathroom so it can get more moisture and now there's two guilty-looking cats who swear they weren't playing with it.
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                            Cosy (and blurry) friends.
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                        Asking Tony to please not reach through the roof of the litter tray while Leon is using it. Imagine a giant hand coming down through the bathroom ceiling while you're on the toilet.
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                      Excuse me, sir.
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                  Tunnel cat.
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                He was a real terror last night and he tore up one of my succulents but then you see him all curled up with the pompom he stole off the lights wrapped around one of the bookcases and it really makes you glad that he's not running around right now.
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              This little fella is obsessed with teabags and, as guests are often appalled to learn, I leave teabags in so he's been grabbing them from the mugs when finished and leaving tea stains all over as he drags the teabags around the flat.
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            Leon is a London cat. It's about 23°C in the flat and it's whatever, he's seen much worse. Tony is a Scottish cat. He's never seen temperatures this high in his entire life and he's looking for relief from the heat.
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          I have bought some museum-grade mounting putty to protect our valuables from Tony knocking them to the floor. Not only that but it's putty intended for countries with frequent earthquakes. Perfect.
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        Another weigh-in today and Tony is up to 4.0 kg. If this growth trend continues for the rest of his life, as I predict it will, Tony will be bigger than me in just over 5 years. @SimonXIX/1524764381078515712
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      Tony Cat is calming down as he gets older but this morning he stole one of my dad's hearing aids off the desk and batted it way under the fridge so fair to say he's still a wee menace.
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    Surprise attack!
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      Tony has taken to biting Leon's bum whenever Leon sits on me so that Leon gets annoyed and wanders off. Then he sits on me instead. This may become an issue.
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        Tony was technically alive last Christmas but he was living in a bin or whatever so this is his first real Christmas and he's very overstimulated by the tree and decorations.
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          "Tony, why is there a shower gel in the toilet?"
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              An unwanted new development.
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                Tony is making little noises and it turns out he's mad at some woodpigeons having sex on a streetlight just outside the window. Don't be such a prude, Tony!
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                  Alright Tony, if you promise to calm down, you can have this breakfast doughnut...
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